Saturday, February 11, 2012

Akala nyo kayo lang

The following post may contain language not suitable for very young audiences. Parental guidance or a multi-language support for your computer's Parental Control feature is advised.


Hindi! Hindi! Hinding-hindi lang kayo ang napapagod sa lecheng buhay na 'to! Puh-lease. Kayo na nga tinutulungan para ma-initiate ang grupo, kayo pa ang may kyemeng umasta at mag-reklamo. Oo, inaamin ko, authoritative ang pamumuno ko sa inyo pero nagbabasa ba kayo kung bakit? The 'Goal Congruence Rule' states "If quality of decision is important and if subordinates do not share the organizational goals to solve the problem, first variant of the group method of decision making is eliminated." Oo. Ganun kayo, kala nyo "you share with the organizational goals" sa pag-tungo ng mga ulo nyo at pagsambit ng mga pangako na gagawin nyo 'to at tatapusin ito. Well, hell to the fucking no. Actions speak louder than words ika nga. Tetenga na naman ako sa kakahintay na mukhang tanga para sa wala. The decision is indeed important. Gusto nyo rush lagi e. Diba ang authoritative method of leadership works best in crisis situations. Ayan, crisis situation lagu. Cram kung cram. Yes, I am standing from the viewpoint of ignorance here. Never even hearing your sides. I may appear to be but your sugar-coated words never touch the Wernicke's area of my brain. Bash me all you want, halungkatin nyo lahat ng baho ko, tangina pero those tactical distraction will never supercede the fact that your lazy asses turned me into this leader you ever so hate. Sisihin nyo sarili nyo. Ika nga ni Machiavelli, a leader must be feared but never be hated. Sorry, Niccollo, they just hated me for what I did. Kulang ata ako sa fierceness of a lion that you require of a Prince to lead over his subjects. They see me rollin' they hatin', fuck my ass. I. Don't. Give. A. Fucking. Damn.


Ako na nagsasabi sa ibang tao, as comforting as I can get, na huwag na sila sumuko kasi tapos na nila ang mahihirap na mga sitwasyon sa buhay nila (halimbawa, mahihirap na clinical areas) pero mali pala. Ako mismo, tapos na sa mga yun, mas nahihirapan ako. Eto pala yung burnout. Shet naman, tinamaan pa ng burnout ang leche. Ako na nagsasabi sa iba na "Konting tulak na lang!" at "Konti na lang!" sana sinasabihan ko rin ang sarili ko. Forever alone, much? Nah. Just needing a time alone for myself. Pero who lives alone in today's society. Damn, even Forever Alone exists with other memes in the 9Gag universe, why should I take the path of Isolation? I have friends. Real, corporeal and loving friends. Why exchange them for a live of loneliness. Tangina naman to, ma-take nga ang Beck Depression Index ng research namin kung ano na level of depression ko. Sana Friday na lang ulit tulad ng dati, kasama sila, kumain ng simple at humalakhak ng sobra. Nagda-drama? Hindi. Nangungulila lang. Lalo na kapag alam mong pina-plastik ka na lang ng mga taong inakala mong mga kaibigan mo.


Bakit ba kasi ako ganito? Messianic complex with a hint of Hitler. Ugh, Panget ng kombinasyon. I am merely saving my own ass here. It's on the line along with theirs and its salvation entails the salvation of all asses. Makes me think of butts lined up in a conveyor belt that tragically ends to a circular saw. Sana makita ng mga tao yung effort na binibigay mo para matupad ang isang bagay para your are given due credit for what you have done. Sawang-sawa na talaga ako sa ganito. Leche naman kasi e. Sana maintindihan nila yung kalagayan ko (which I highly doubt after I bashed them on the interlude of this post). 


Kung natamaan ka/kayo, aba'y malaki-laki ang tsansa ganyan ang pagu-ugali mo. I speak to no one in particular (yeah, right). Those pronouns pertain to absent entities. Oo, maniwala ka na lang. Pero kung sa tingin mo ikaw talaga yung natatamaan nung post, edi sana baguhin mo na lang yung sarili mo. Salamat sa pakikinig sa pagbubulyaw ko dito.

4 comments:

  1. I have never read a GC rant before. Haha. But I see your frustration very clearly. Gusto ko lang na hindi ka forever alone kaya nandito ako at nagsasabing "Nag-ESF na for summer, therefore konting panahon na lang, summer na. Konting tiis pa, at siyempre, communication is the key to solve your problems."

    I don't know what the problem is nor do I have the right to ask but as a friend (which I think I am), bibigyan kita ng advice (na hindi mo naman hiningi^^). Mag-usap kayo, unless plastikan hanggang dulo ang drama niyo.

    I'm here if you need me!

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    Replies
    1. Oo nga. I just have to look forward to this summer, you speak of. :)) Siguro sometime in the future, but definitely not now.

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  2. Sooooooooooooooon! (Sarreh late ko lang nabasa to e nung nagbukas lang ako ng gmail :)))

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