After Everything

This is going to be a flash post, like many of the posts I have here. Spur of the moment works induced by emotions or nudged by boredom. This one right here is about what troubles me now after all the shit I've been through: adult problems.

You're probably tired of me mopping around my ex so I won't mention the ex as much as possible in this one (I just did, pardon). Besides, I have more pressing issues right now which brings me to my first point: work.

Today, I've been working as a nurse for ten months, five days en counting. It's been a tough ride but what's a ride without its bumps and mishaps. The first few months tested me beyond my limits - readjusting to the clinical setting, the ex breathing down on my neck, me basically paranoiding about new work. It was just a whirlwind of merdé that it was a miracle that I got through it. The succeeding months eased in like additional kilometers you add in your jogging route. I felt more challenged and that drove me to excel and grow as a nurse. I felt the familiar "Salamat, nurse Pau" which, to be honest, is priceless and more gratifying than the paycheck I receive every month. At the same time, the pains of facilitating consents for HAMA, DNR, or even the act of post-mortem care are burdens we in the nursing profession have to carry. These moments mix in to build the unique foundation of a nurse, to which I think I'm becoming into. It's less than a year and I believe I learned so much and has grown in more ways than one. Thank you, Nursing for this change.

Pretty much 'work' is more of a realization than an issue. Next one probably is: continuing studies.

Ever since I graduated from my bachelor's degree, I made it a point to follow my heart and to serve the community. What better way to prepare for it than studying about it. So I've had my life planned out for the next five years. Or so I thought. I got into the clinical aspect and actually enjoying it to the point of wondering if a masters on clinical nursing is a good choice for further studies. At this point, MAN contends with MPH. A good friend of mine introduced me to another contender: International Public Health where you work on the systems level to initiate change through policy-making. Now we have a threeway between MAN-MPH-MIPH. To make matters more complicated, I just came to know (as in this morning) that application period for masters programs will start this coming January. Less than a freaking month from today! So hello panicking-self-I-need-discernment-ASAP! So you see, I'm in the middle of a crisis right now, hence this flash blog post.

Whew! Processing that issue is another post altogether. Next issue is probably family.

Missing my family, to be exact. Not many know (or I dunno) that my parents have already migrated to the US to live the American dream under my sister's patronage, leaving my brother and I here in the country - and making me de facto household head. Hahaha! Kidding aside, I miss them now especially during my downtimes from work and the holidays being so near. I guess you miss things/people the most when you lose them. Good thing they're not really lost in my life. They're just a thousand of kilometers away and technology is there to bridge this gap. To a more family-oriented Paulo! Cheers!

Anyway, I guess that's all for now. I wish to write more and reclaim my love for reading and writing (the latter, especially, when I get my new laptop). Thanks for putting up with my dramas. Cheers!