Innate Happiness

Long nocturnal walks, idyllic afternoon scenery and refreshing morning rays take my mind to a serene world where I introspect and, to my own surprise, fins happiness inside me. For those who glance upon me for the first time see me as a grumpy, uptight, too-young to be old individual and get scared or stay away from me, at the very least. I have put up this front for quite a time that I slowly believe that I am that person. That grumpy, uptight, too-young to be old person. And somehow, it kinda bugged me. I just crossed the threshold from teenage life to young adulthood and I already have this perception and attitude towards life. I have to change. And the time is now.

As I said in my opening salvo, the soliloquy provided upon me has helped me to dig deep within me and I struck gold. Just a few days ago, everything seemed to be against me: I lost my water bottle, I didn't get my postal ID as scheduled, the bus ride  home was stifling hot and the sole source of my happiness credits for that day was that I got my NBI certificate then my social security number in less than an hour. Had this very scenario happen to me a few years or even months back, I would still be sulking in a corner and saying how dumpy my day had been but it happened just a few days ago and, I can say, I was a (bit of a) changed man already. I didn't stamp my foot another Newton greater. I didn't wallow in the unfortunate events of the day. And I was happy inside for reasons unknown to me and I want it to keep it that way. I see this ball of warm fuzzy happiness as a particle. The more you determine its precise location in space, the more you don't know about its momentum. I don't know much about my quantum physics but this I (vaguely) remembered about the uncertainty principle. So I would rather have its 'location' unknown but have its presence felt. 

Perhaps this entry would be some form of 'determining' my happiness' 'position' and would lead to a decline to such state. I hope it not. I would like to live in this state so much so that I can see the happiness in the long years ahead of me. Hey, I'm just twenty and I'm just halfway my midlife!